My name is Andrea.
I became pregnant through IVF at age 45, in a plus-size body, after being turned away from multiple fertility clinics before ever having the chance to try.
If you’re here, chances are you’ve heard at least one of these phrases (or something similar):
“We can’t help you at your current BMI.”
“You’ll get pregnant on your own if you just lose weight.”
“Your tests show X. We should dig deeper. But we can’t.”
I’ve heard all of them, too.
But this story didn’t start at 45.
I had my first child at 27. When he was five, my then-husband and I divorced. A few years later, I met my current husband, and we knew we wanted to build a family together.
We started trying when we got married.
A year passed. Then two.
We sought fertility assistance. We went through all the testing, hopeful that we’d finally have answers, only to be told they couldn’t help due to my BMI. I was 37. We went to a second clinic; Same outcome, delivered with far less kindness. A third clinic had us repeat all the same testing, only to reach the same conclusion.
Then COVID hit. Like so many things in those years, our plans went on hold. We were living in Florida at the time, and the uncertainty made moving forward feel impossible. In 2022, we moved to Massachusetts and decided to try again.
I was turned away from three more clinics without even being offered an appointment.
Determined to do everything within my control, I started GLP-1 medication and lost 75 pounds. Still, my BMI remained too high for most clinics’ policies, or, by this point, clinics would decline based solely on my age.
Finally, we found two clinics willing to treat us. By then, I was 44.
We had consultations with both and ultimately chose the one that was most financially realistic. Like many people, I learned the hard way that even with IVF insurance coverage, there are often age limits beyond which treatment is no longer covered.
Our path forward wasn’t simple.
Two donor egg cycles. Nine embryos created. Three euploid embryos. One frozen embryo transfer.
And finally, success.
I am now pregnant at 45. I’ll be 46 when the baby is born. My husband will be 51. We were 37 and 42 when we started.
My first child will turn 18 just four months before his sibling arrives.
After nearly nine years of being told no, I kept noticing how little clear, grounded information existed for people in situations like mine. Very few resources spoke honestly to the lived experience of navigating IVF, pregnancy, and medical care in a plus-size body over 40. So I built this one.
Here, I document this journey honestly: the medical reality, the emotional weight, and everything I wish I had known from the beginning.
If you’ve been told no. If you’ve been made to feel like your body disqualifies you. If you’re walking this path later than you planned.
You are not alone.